Relationships
Our early relationships shape how we do relationships as adults, but they don’t always serve us well. By understanding our patterns and responding rather than reacting, we can build relationships that are resilient and satisfying.
Relationships are important. Relationships are hard. Let’s figure ‘em out.
How We Learn to Do Relationships
I think most of us, if not all, develop our approaches to relationships early on. We figure some ways of relating to people that help us navigate our families, then we launch out into the world, and … don’t change. We keep the same patterns, even though the world is not the same as the families we grew up in. So, some of our schtick works, and some doesn’t. It’s enormously helpful to figure out what we’re bring into our relationships—and what we want to bring into our adult relationships!
Understanding Others
It’s also extremely helpful to learn to understand other people well—what are their hopes, needs, fears, and boundaries?
Relationships and Therapy
Therapy can be helpful for understanding yourself and understanding the important people in your life. The part about understanding yourself can be explicitly about your patterns in relationships, and self-acceptance tends to have a powerful impact on relationships as well.
Big Dynamics in Relationships
A couple of areas I found useful to pay attention to are, first, assertiveness and boundaries and, second, vulnerability / reaching out / taking appropriate risks.
Wrapping Up
The relationships that have a big impact on our lives certainly include primary partners, but usually also include family of origin, friends, and even important co-workers. Taken together, all these relationships are a huge part of our happiness and our hair-pulling. I’ll be glad to see if I can help you lean toward satisfying relationships … and maybe save some hair.